I am....

i am trying to catch you but i only able to grab your shadow...
i am trying to talk to you, but i only able to whisper it through the wind...
i am trying to hold you, but i merely touch you....
i am trying to let you go, but i cannot afford to lose you....
how much i am trying i still cannot have you....
i will not give up, but, it seems difficult for me....
at last, i just let you step away from my sight even my heart hurts see you are leaving...
thus, i always pray that it was the best decision that i have ever made by letting you walk away..
i am showing my love towards you by letting you happy...
if you ever realized it...
u may say that i can hold you tight, talk out loud...
but i was too afraid of hurting you,.....

saya...

even, semua orang tengok saya ni jenis relax....

jenis macam x da problem ja...

hidup sentiasa macam happy....

tak pernah rasa nak marah orang....

wajah saya x mengambarkan apa yang saya sedang hadapi...

masalah yang saya sedang hadapi sekarang amatlah berat juga...

tapi, saya x share dengan orang...

coz saya tahu, saya x patut susahkan orang lain...

even, saya menangis sekalipun...

walau seberat mana pun, saya akan cuba tanggung,...

entah la..mungkin inlah saya sebenarnya...

saya pernah janji untuk jadi saya yang dulu...

sekarang saya ada la jadi diri saya balik..

banyak berahsia.....

hehhehehehe

saya memang suka pendam....

sebelum ni ada orang yang saya sering luahkan, tapi sekarang, dah x da.....

asa nak cerita dekat dia...tapi, ntah....macam x patut ja..dia tengah happy...

hum..biar la saya pentingkan diri sendiri dengan simpan semua kesedihan dan rahsia...

MidTerm....

Assalammualaikum...huhuhuhuhuhu

harini hari selasa...24 hb august 2010....

harini saya ada dua midterm....

mid term Fiqh for Economist pada pagi hari, dan mid term Financial Management pada malam hari....huhuhuhu

hari ni juga, kelab buat iftar...huhuhuhuhu

hum....

ntah la macam mana midterm arini....ada asa macam ok ja..ada asa macam x ok ja...huhuhuhu

ok, start dengan midterm Fiqh....exam start pukul 11.30...so, lepas subuh n sahur tadi, ingat nak tido jap and study pukul 7 lebih2....

tapi, sebab letih juga, tertido sampai pukul 9 lebih....x sedar alarm bunyi...huhuhuhu....tersedar ja, terus capai buku dan study sikit, tapi x dapat paham sangat...sebab last minute..huhuhuhu...tawakkal ja lah....masa jawab exam tu, soklan agak mencabar juga...ntah la apa yang saya merapu..harap2, point yang saya bagi tu betul la..huhuhu...

habis exam tu, terus bergegas ke masjid sebab nak pinjam tikar untuk iftar...agak rushing juga...setel semua, pi kelas micro...oleh sebab sampai lambat, so kena la duduk belakang...lau dah dok belakang tu, apa lagi, tutup mata la...kira kali pertama saya x pay attention dalam klas micro..huhuhuhu

habis klas micro tu, g study Financial Management kat cafe....bayangkan, malam ni exam, baru nak mula ualngkaji...huhuhuhu..teruk juga saya....hehehehhe..study kejap ja...sampai asar....lepas asar balik bilik dan siap2 untuk g prepare iftar sebab banyak sister x dapat hadir...huhuhuhu

masa tu agak push tangan juga la...walaupun tangan masih sakit, tapi, dah terpaksa, so angkat juga yang berat...huhuhuhuh

agak kelam kabut juga iftar tu sebab lambat siap...and saya bawa buku dan study sambil prepare iftar...hehehehhe..agak sengal juga...nampak sangat saya ni x profesional....hehehhee..biar la..walaupun dapat paham sikit ja, kira ok la....masa iftar tu saya berbuka dengan kurma, kemudian solat...lepastu g jawab exam....makan kurma ja..huhuhuhuhu....

masa exam tu, agak blur juga coz saya bleh dikatakan banyak ponteng klas tu...nak buat camana,kelas pukul 8.30 pagi...huhuhuhu..x bangun tido lagi..hehehehehhe....dengan x study, so masuk exam jawab apa yang saya faham ja...hehehehehe.....

asanya, leh jawab la dalam 60 percent ke atas....huhuhuhuhu..habis exam, jalan g tempat iftar tadi ngan harapan, masih ada makanan...Alhamdulillah makanan ada lagi.....heheheehhe....

thanks to ainul and istiqamah coz mendoakan saya dapat A..hehehe....amin....nasib saya x ada masa post mortem, lau x, habis la korang...hheheehhehe....mungkin nak marah, cuma mungkin akan berdiskusi tentang situasi tadi..anyway, u all mmg bez.....hehehehe..thanks to farid, acap, amin, luqman, danial dan beberpa ahli baru yang saya x sempat nak kenal...sory guys...huhuhuhu...lastly, sebelum balik, ada la dapat reminder..hehehehehe..padan ngan muka saya.....

PeRs0n@liTy TEst......

Asslammualaikum....

Lama nya x update blog..huhuhuhu.....

Agak sibuk "bermain"...hehhehehehe

Post kali ni tentang Personality Test yang saya buat masa MCLEAD..

13 hingga 15 August 2010 yang bertempat di Felda Residence Tekam... .

Dekat Pahang...hehehhehe....Program Leadership untuk semua MRC....

Agak best la juga tempat tu...Chalet yang ber"air- conditioner".....Luas juga..yang penting, ada TV...hehhehehe..lama x tengok TV katakan...Ley forget about that dulu...Sekarang nak bercerita tentang result dari personality test ni....

Test ni dibuat oleh Counselling Services Department...hehehehe...simple ja depa bagi...depa bagi 100 soklan dan suruh pilih true or false..pastu evaluate....untuk test ni,result dia based on 4 color: GOLD, GREEN, BLUE and ORANGE....

Sebab tak nak tulis panjang, terus ja ka ke keputusannya ek..hehehehehe....lepas setel semua, saya dapat result ni:

GOLD= 17

GREEN= 20

BLUE= 18

ORANGE= 14....

jawapannya, saya termasuk dalam golongan orang yang berwarna GREEN.....

ni detail explanation on colour personality.

GOLD

-backbone of society, "good as gold", loyal, hardworking, responsible, dependable, clean, neat, well organized, punctual, financially prudent, keep good records, natural leader...

- So conventional, may become rigid, habit- bound and set in their ways, do not like sudden change,mess and confusion.. become agitated with others tardiness, easily judge people, sometimes harshly. sometimes take life and themselves too seriuosly....

-people may accuse them = boring, stuck in a rut, uncompromising, critical or control freak.....atau melayunya, golongan skema....

GREEN

-complex, interesting, enigmatic, highly intelligent, "think out of the box", focused, inquisitive, voracious leader, love share the info, love mental challenge, enjoy verbal sparring...

- impatient with those who are less intelligent...do not care much for a small talk, may feel uncomfortable in social situations, preferring to spend time alone or engage with other Greens.

-peple may accuse them= cold, calculating, snobbish, weird, know it alls, nerd...huhuhuhu

BLUE

-kind hearted, loving, compassionate, sympathetic, easy going, flexible, natural peacemakers, authentic, spiritual, altruistic, romantic.

-like to please people but not to "rock the boat", unless they feel compelled to make stand what is right.. difficult to be strong disciplinarians or take unpopular stand.. tend to expect sympathy and compassion in return. do not tolerate teasing very well, easily shed tears...can be daydreaming and easily distracted....people may accuse them - overly sentimental,unrealistic, melodramatic, tree- huggers

ORANGE

-dynamic, spontaneous, witty, fun loving, "spice of life", naturally gregarious, energetic, entertaining, generous, love physical activity, love hands-on learning....

- tend to have short attention spans...become bored easily,need constant stimulation...sometimes do not manage their finance prudently...impatient....people may accuse them - being childish, rude, obnoxious, shalow, party lovers....

walaupun result tu kata saya ni green colour, tapi saya rasa, saya ni jenis ikut situasi..kadang2 tu saya jadi blue..ada ketikanya jadi gold.....tapi kadang2 ja jadi orange...heheheheh....

apa2 pun, saya rasa saya unik...Alhamdulillah....

Saya Tiada Selera.....

Assalammualaikum......

Selamat berpuasa bagi semua umat islam....

moga puasa kita tahun ni lebih baik dari sebelum ni....

cuma nak tulis ja.....

ni dah hari ketiga berpuasa....

so far so good la...hehehhehe

even amatlah letih sikit.....

selama tiga hari ni, saya juz bersahurkan air mineral.....

hum...kenapa la rasa tak berapa ada selera ek.....

tak da pun terasa nak makan......

sedangkan, before tido memang ada fikir nak makan sahur...

tapi, bila dah tiba waktu sahur, terus hilang selera.....

tak pa...tak kisah sangat...

coz saya ni jenis tak kisah sangat....

saya ni jenis makan bila lapar.....

so, selama tiga hari ni juz bersahur dengan meneguk sedikit air mineral...

dalam sahur tu ada keberkatannya....hehhehehe....

kata2 Allah dan Rasul-Nya worth untuk percaya....

sebab ada hadith yang kata bersahurlah walaupun seteguk air...

so, saya pun follow ja la..hehehehehe

tapi, saya ada makan la sikit dalam pukul 12 lebih2 tu.....

coz almost everyday saya tido lewat...

kadang2 pukul 3,kadang2 2 dan pukul 1....

ingatkan nak tido awal, tapi, ada meeting dan buat kerja...

ah, kejap lagi nak bertolak ke jerantut, pahang...

ada program mclead....huhuhuhuhu....

dengan x cari bahan lagi untuk assignment yang due date nya 17 hb ni...

assignment tentang bay al-inah......

walaupun assignment tu macam simple ja...

tapi i think i have to read la sikit about it....

hum...sempat x ek buat lepas balik dari mclead???

tapi, macam mana pun, walaupun letih lepas camp tu....

saya akan cuba siapkan..walaupun terpaksa tido lewat lagi...

agak padan muka dengan diri sendiri la juga...

sapa suruh suka buat kerja last2 minute.....

hehhehehe...bagi saya, berani buat, berani tanggung...

hehehhehehe

lastly, semoga rezeki kita dimurahkan masa Ramadhan ni...

semoga amalan kita diterima...

moga Allah memberkati kita....

puasa la betol2...jangan sekadar menahan diri dari makan dan minum ja...

selamat berpuasa.....

During MSLS

serba sikit kenangan masa MSLS...huhuhuhu...nanti nak beli kamera...leh tangkap gambar banyak2...but i wonder bila agaknya..huhuhu

Jatuh....

assalammualaikum....

huhuhuhuhuhuhu...

oleh sebab hari ni saya sangat buas,

saya telah menyebabkan luka yang lama sakit kembali....

huhuhuhuhuhu

hari ni main futsal lagi....

tournament BECS.......

punya la lari kuar dari kelas leadership sebab nak main futsal...

masa mula main tu, main la dengan agak berhati-hati....

ya la, tangan masih lagi tak sembuh....

tapi, last sekali, jatuh juga..huhuhhuhuhu...

tangan ni kembali sakit..

nak gerak pon tak berapa boleh....

huhuhuhuhuhu

harap jangan teruk sudah...

takut tulang yang patah tu makin patah pula..

lamanya nak tunggu minggu depan...

huhuhuhuhuhu

My Thougt During Malaysian Student Leaders Summit......

This is a post containing my thought during Malaysian Student Leaders Summit (MSLS)........

At first i wanna write about my first day and second day there...but i am not in the mood of explaining because i am quite tired.... However, it contains my thought during second day.

"Back then I was no one, now I am turning to someone"

"The way people perceive things like a light gone through a prism"(which mean we are focusing on one same topic, but the outcomes are vary)

"Appearance sometimes tells lies"

"There is no absolute freedom. In certain cases, freedom has its own limit"

"As an economist, you are not studying about human behaviour, but you are studying about yourself"

"The definition of economics is a science of study human behaviour and how to allocate scarce resources in effective way. However, my definition about economics is about studying myself, managing myself and how to make decision based on scarce resources."

"Sometimes we need to thanks dummies because they have made us happy with their actions. As we know laugh is the best medicine."

"We should be wise enough to evaluate every situations"

"Wise people never shows their arrogance"

"Leaders today do not learn from previous leaders"( i mean during caliph time and Rasullullah"

"Politicians try to be smart on the floor/stage but they do not realize that they are showing their stupidity in front of audience"